House of Cards

I guess if I’m going to brag about how awesome I was at life when I was living on the beach picking girls for bikini contests on Spring Break while talking shit to all my readers who work in cubicles, it’s only fair to be honest to my readers when things go horribly wrong. When you only need a few things to be happy, you only need to lose a few things for that happiness to escape you. Sometimes it seems like when one thing begins to head south, everything else follows in the same direction. When it rains it pours. I know this is usually a result of taking risks that have led to far more good times than bad times and almost no boring times, and for that reason I can’t regret it or blame anyone else.

I had everything I wanted at my fingertips, but it was all a house of cards. Every day I went back and forth trying to decide if I was either the luckiest or unluckiest guy in the world. I was losing my mind waiting to figure out if the promotion would actually come through. The more time I spent waiting was more time to think too much and to lose the confidence that things would work out as planned.

Countless problems that I had always managed to stay one step ahead of began catching up with me all at once. It seemed like every day another problem came up that I couldn’t solve while trying to save all my money for other things. My health began deteriorating right as my healthcare ran out, possibly due to my diet of hot dogs and ramen. The lease on the apartment would be up next month, and all future planning relied largely on whether or not Dan was staying and I was getting the promotion. My only way of researching jobs and apartments was my lap top, which was barely functioning. Large chunks of the car were falling off and it felt like every turn of the key could be its last. Insomnia was kicking in and money needed to be saved for things other than sleeping. I was wise enough at this point not to rely on the promise of a full time job when it hadn’t come through for me in the past. I was back on the local job hunt and getting the same results as the last one. With transportation being highly questionable, where to look for jobs depended largely on where I would be living next. With each problem being either the cause or the effect of the next one, every dime I had needed to be rationed out to try to solve them in order of importance. They were all problems I had been prepared to deal with if they happened one at a time, but the problems were coming in waves. I thought I’d be working full time soon after I got back from Myrtle Beach, and every day I didn’t was another day I got further from things going as planned. 

“We got no food, no jobs... our pet's heads are falling off!” – Dumb and Dumber